Abu Wabu

Red Barchetta

For too long, Chrysler moved too slowly to adopt to the future, designing and building cars that were less popular, less reliable and less fuel efficient than foreign competitors."

So why did the Messiah who spoke those very words today own a gas-guzzling Hemi-powered Chrysler 300C back then, from 2004 until 2007, when he procured a Ford Escape (now there's a metaphorical gem if ever I saw one, hardy har) to pander to the enviro-fascists helping his presidential aspirations?

While I prefer the more honest, demanding and therefore more rewarding Corvette Z06, as an empathetic automotive enthusiast I understand the appeal of the recycled Chrysler 300C to someone like Obama. But as a guy with a brain, I reject Obama spewing this hypocritical bullshit whilst driving a Chrysler 300C:

Obama this week flew to Detroit to deliver his message that the U.S. auto industry is the villain for "investing in bigger and faster cars (such as Obama's 360-horsepower Chrysler hemi before he got caught) while foreign competitors invested in more fuel-efficient technology."

"While our fuel standards haven't moved from 27.5 miles per gallon in two decades, both China and Japan have surpassed us, with Japanese cars now getting an average of 45 miles to the gallon..."

That wouldn't be a problem, you idiot, if
1: America's great car companies weren't in reality massive pension and benefits providers saddled with dead-end union contracts, and
2: Energy companies were allowed to tap into America's massive petroleum, coal and nuclear resources to the benefit of the people and the national economy.

In addition to their little mileage-makers, Japan is producing a vast fleet of astonishing performance vehicles that horrify the meek. The Japanese pay huge for gas, and still they make and drive these fantastic and incredibly efficient cars. The lesson is clear:

1: Fuck the meek;
2: Fuck Obama;
3. Beware of Japanese mileage-makers;
4. Drive a Corvette.